When he dropped me off at the station I said: Ithink were going to fall in love, and he said: Ithink so, too.. I wanted to drink coffee again, andI wanted to get the coffee myself. 2023 Cond Nast. So I better not have faith in anything. Sodderland is lucky to be alive, having suffered a massive stroke which left her unable to speak, read, write and perform even simple tasks. Ive worked on a new character, becoming more patient, more accepting, kinder to myself and to the people around me. People taking over my plans, my life. Lotje reveals her tips on adjusting to acquired communication disorder aphasia and finding a new way of life in her present reality. I remember at one stage wanting to die because the pain was so intense. He laughed and said, Well, Im happy youre still here.. My occupational therapist, a kind and patient woman and self-proclaimed luddite, helped me relearn how to use my laptop, and suddenly, to my surprise, my body remembered how to touch-type. I thought I was talking to them, but they didnt reply. A WORLD WITHOUT WORDS. At the age of 34 Lotje Sodderland suffered a stroke that almost killed her but left her with a fascination with the science that saved her life. I went to see some fireworks with friends in the evening, followed by a trip to the pub, and returned to my flat at around 10pm. An excruciating pain in my head woke me up in the early hours. The comfort of unconsciousness threatened to pull me under, but instead I took my handbag and walked out of the door. If it feels weird and uncomfortable, well hold off a bit or maybe we just wont do it.. That required a period of mourning for my old life, and then a period of acceptance. Midway through filming, Robinson contacted Lynch's agent to try and show him one of these videos and much to their surprise he sent them an email back. In celebration of Aphasia Awareness Month this June, we caught up with the Lotje after the free screening of her documentary and had an intimate conversation with her to find out about her post-recovery struggles and how she overcame them. So it was sad. There is no silence more resounding than that of a cognitive communication malfunction. But no more than the average Lynch fan. To make sense of what had happened, the former film producer documented her feelings and experiences with her therapies, physiological changes and a newly acquired communication disorder called aphasia through video clips that were turned into a full-length feature film called My Beautiful Broken Brain. She lost two years of her memory, forgetting her own daughter and even asking whether she herself was Chinese. But at the end of the program, she still cant read. Its about having to rethink your life halfway through, and that can happen to any of us. I had faltered, and the words were gone Then Iblacked out, consumed by a four-hour convulsive seizure. Karen with her husband, Andrew Adams. Lotje Sodderland, who filmed her recovery from a stroke at the age of 34 Credit: Netflix Every three minutes and 27 seconds, someone in the UK has a stroke. Do you remember Lotje? I had been a film-maker: could I film this? With the help of my Occupational Therapist, I could go to the bank, take out money and manage my bills which gave me a sense of accomplishment. A language therapist asked me to write down a story idea, and then to tell her the story using my written notes to guide me. Filmmaker Lotje Sodderland documents her recovery process from the hemorrhagic stroke she had at 34 and the new life she builds in the aftermath. Dutch-French filmmaker Lotje Sodderland didn't know young people could suffer from a stroke - until she had one herself in 2011, then aged 34. Lotje: When an illness like that hits suddenly, it is very difficult for a person to adjust to the new condition as you lose all the elements of who you are job, independence, and even your ability to communicate. Now she needs to take medication and deal with the side effects. Protagonistas: Sophie Robinson,Lotje Sodderland Ve todo lo que quieras. But I didn't feel any fear. Filming what was happening to me was fundamental to my recovery. The last three years have seen a series of milestones the first holiday, the first solo trip. Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, SE1 9GF. "We started filming that day and she was still very confused and there was a big part of me that was wary because I knew she was very vulnerable and had to concentrate on recovery. JOIN NOW Executive producer David Lynch played a pivotal role in Lotje Sodderland's recovery, as explained in this documentary. Her doctor explains that the paths between her visual areas and her language areas are broken. But Lotje survives. Romance is a complex neurological process, and Ididnt think Iwas eligible any more. This interview has been condensed and edited. 7.5 TV Movie Colours were brighter, sounds louder and emotions more raw. I never had any limits: travelling widelyand generally being very active. It could have happened at any time. But mostly My Beautiful Broken Brain is about Sodderlands inner journey from confusion, trauma, and sometimes despair to remarkably sunny acceptance of her new life and her new mind. By making videos and telling the story of his stroke, David found that he was able to visualise the physiological progress he had made and still needed to make. We never wanted this to be seen as just a film about recovery, because its so much more than that, Robinson adds. Lotje Sodderland was speaking to Mabh Ritchie, The latest offers and discount codes from popular brands on Telegraph Voucher Codes, Lotje Sodderland, who filmed her recovery from a stroke at the age of 34, Lotje Sodderland shortly after her stroke, I have a 97 per cent chance of getting cancer so Im living life like theres no tomorrow, Olia Hercules: I thought my son had autism but then the doctors spotted something else, What over-the-counter drugs can actually do to your body, After 13 funerals, I was broken by military life but these woods saved me, Ive lost 10kg by lifting weights and my energy has soared, The latest gut-health mood and immunity boost is a 'postbiotic', the resulting film, My Beautiful Broken Brain,is now on Netflix. Lotje improves, she can now speak fairly fluently. Sodderland co-directed the multiple award-winning feature film 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' (executive produced by David Lynch), which is her own . She realizes that she needs to come into terms with her new reality, focus on the essential and on the new things she has discovered. When I tried to wake her, I saw a pool of saliva on the pillow, and noticed her speech was slurred and movements were weak.. It was very painful for my ears. Sodderland describes the process of making My Beautiful Broken Brain as essential to her recovery. That meant something, because the relationship that he had with Lotje was very genuine. Self Employed. Sky High: The Series Registered in England No. Used to solving problems and travelling the world, she suddenly couldnt understand how to get out of her flat to ask for help. As I got more confident, I filled pages with words written in thick capital letters words that made sense to me, but that no one else could interpret. We definitely thought about contacting Apple when we needed money. Falling in love was as immediate, raw and unfiltered as if I were doing it for the first time. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. As part of that documentation, I was having this imaginary conversation with him. I moved into my own place, and vowed never to see another therapist again. Six months after the stroke was a difficult time for me. I would need a code made of numbers. I had so many questions, such as: why had this happened? Apart from the scar under my hair, my face and body were perfectly intact.. He explained: The paramedics had seen a bottle of cough syrup in the bedroom and assumed the worst. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. They realised that the recovery process can feel monotonous without some spontaneity. We see her brightenwhen she triumphantly comes up withthe word nephew pointing to a picture of her youngniece. David Festenstein, who has written a blog about his recovery from a stroke, has suggested that the video and audio recording capabilities on our smartphones can play a vital role in stroke recovery. [6], Lotje began recording video-selfies just a few days after the stroke, while still in the hospital. An emergency brain surgery saves her life. I gazed at the night sky and remembered my old life of freedom and adventure. SXSW. When we first see Sodderland in the riveting new Netflix documentary My Beautiful Broken Brain (premiering Friday after a run at SXSW), shes recording herself on her iPhone in the hospital shortly after regaining consciousness. 'My Beautiful Broken Brain' is released on Netflix tomorrow. Q: Hello, Lotje! Two months after the stroke, my brother took me to a nearby hospital to be assessed for eligibility. He experiences anoxia resulting in brain damage. When the stroke happened, I forgot his name. To our great surprise he wrote an email a few days later back. She has tried reading childrens books with family, rewatching movies with subtitles on, and browsing cooking blogs. A house cleaner desperately searches for her husband as a dreaded criminal syndicate dredges up past tragedies and ultimately drives her to violence. They looked at me with sad eyes; I wished I could say something to assuage their sadness. At first, my writing looked like a childs. I knew who I was, and I recognised my mother and brother -but I didnt know anything else. Nothing made any sense, everything was beautiful but it was frightening, it was backward, there was no kind of linear logic to it. But when I looked back, the words had slid off the page. Iyearned for solitude. I dont use words in the same way that I did before. And shes an engaging, lovely, warm person. Focus on who your true friends are. 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