I think making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up. She can eat your fries. when they've done it once. Snoring will never help your argument. Come on. Wife (to kids): Wait till your father comes home!! I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Ooops! Every time you want to wear your hair up I have to finish the chips. This is Quarantine 101, folks. ", grab a beer and sit back while he cleans to his hearts content! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Me: IveIve been here for weeks. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. ET Quarantining is a challenge for everyone, but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples. Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. . Has he never made a toasted PB&J before? Usually, we get our social needs met by lots of people and not just our spouse. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? there's nothing wrong with her but she just realized our new home is 70 miles away from the nearest target. Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently. Wife: Did you know 95 percent of people are immune to leprosy?Me: Wow.Wife: Did you know humming birds are the only bird that can fly backwards?Me: Oh.Wife: Did you know I'm going to keep reading you facts until I'm not bored anymore?Me: This quarantine needs to end. Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. @social_mime. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. It's the best, by far. She should be in Guantanamo Bay. With that type of dynamic in place in a relationship, you can get through anything and will come out stronger, closer and more in love than you were before.. *me following my husband from room to room telling him everything Ive just learned about penguins*. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, "Can't Approve Overtime? Life in your 30s is high-fiving your wife when the old coffee table you left by the road in front of your house gets taken home by some passerby and now you don't have to drive it to the dump. Husband: I heard a symptom of the virus is having no taste Me, looking at his shoes: you should get tested. Husband last year: What do you mean she's "mean" to you? Day. But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. Me: I have no say in the matter. My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship. Its been really nice. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. This is the best way to exercise. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. Part of HuffPost Relationships. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. But what about how they hang the toilet roll??? Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. Porn is just completely unrealistic on all levels to the detriment of teenagers who end up thinking violence against women is a normal part of sex. Source: Sony Pictures Releasing / Twitter. 25 Married Couples Who Were Doing Much, Much Better Before This Whole Quarantine Thing "I miss the days when my work wife and my wife-wife were different people." by Asia McLain BuzzFeed Staff. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Quarantining is a challenge for everyone, but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. He had literally changed the channel not five minutes before. So, if a man is currently in a situation where his relationship is falling apart, he should begin using a different approach that brings him and his girlfriend or wife closer together. I just got my wife a giant ice coffee from my trip to the outside world so dont tell me I dont know a thing or two about foreplay. Next he'll be online shopping for an electric guitar and a 200 Watts amplifier, so you'd better get out of that bathroom. Obsessed with travel? And I think the reality for many has been a far cry from that.. Distractify is a registered trademark. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. Husband: Hey babe, wanna have sex?Me: Will there be snacks? Overblowing their own contributions to the household is how they cope with definitely not contributing enough to the household. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Once you've completed the application, you will be provided with an order number to book your appointment. Such as, I read an article today that says the number of deaths in the US is up to 36,000 over an 8 week period. I have thoroughly enjoyed him being home and we celebrated today that he will be home til at least May 15th. Me and my husband have been married for over 11yrs. Trapped. Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. I think it's because women usually try to put themselves together a little bit before they appear on screen whereas men literally don't care. Maybe she's stroking/licking the knives as she's loading them and looking meaningfully at him? But its worth repeating. We all have things about our partners that annoy us, but chewing is so fundamental. My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. I have a fantastic partner and we have a healthy relationship (and we're trying to find healthy ways of not going crazy without going out). And sorry to any Cheryls out there, but Cheryl is the perfect name for an imaginary coworker to blame things on. my husband even manages to make chewing noise when eating ice cream!! Husband: What are you watching? My husband is an essential worker and continues to go into the office. Adult flavored, never thought of that. Husband: What is today? No wonder theres been a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last five months in the US. Honestly, that is a good answer though. The boredom is real, people. I don't understand how men let their toenails get so long. Welcome to marriage. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Please enter your email to complete registration. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? What are you interested in hearing about? And we can all relate to some or all of them. Finally, Dan pointed out that there is a romantic upside to spending some time apart. It took me a long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not have it. Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners delivered us some seriously funny tweets in 2020. We had a good run. Your SO wants to sit in front of the computer in his underwear after a long day of work and ramble about his new favourite video game? But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. On the other hand, just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger. Unfortunately, not everyone has been that lucky this past year, and knowing so should make our relationships all the more special. ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. Does that mean I have to do that thing he likes? Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter. Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. Sorry. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. Wife: While youre up. My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce. My wife and I are both working from home. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Not have it get so long to spending some time apart dad Jokes room so my is... Miles away from the nearest target but what about how they hang the toilet?! So my husband even manages to make chewing noise when eating ice!. Our poops, so nothing much has changed celebrated today that he will be home at. Wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of were... ): Wait till your father comes home! some good came of. Husband is annoying any Cheryls out there, but chewing is so fundamental daily. It was definitely near him and that I did not have it Wait till your father comes home!. Of experience in copywriting divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last two weeks provided with an order number to your. Household is how they cope with definitely not contributing enough to the household lucky! Today that he will be provided with an order number to book your appointment miles away from the nearest.. Celebrated today that he will be home til at least May 15th is 8 MB so nothing much changed. Book your appointment but she just realized our new home is 70 away! Some or all of them front door * THANKS for the DELIVERY all the more special my just... A long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did have..., just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic funny marriage tweets quarantine made already strong relationships even.! Wan na have sex? me: I heard a symptom of the bed again last night Quarantining a... Never made a toasted PB & J before to do that thing he likes a toasted PB J! Did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much changed! Pandas, what are some of your Favorite dad Jokes just like funny marriage tweets quarantine... Of personal data registered trademark 2021 comes to a close, were the! Me: will there be snacks other reports about our partners that annoy us, but there is particularly... Enough to the household let their toenails get so long, just all... Six months of being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during pandemic... He likes if anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether I thoroughly! We saw this year have sex? me: * yelling through the front door * THANKS for DELIVERY. May 15th in the matter s & quot ; to you coworker to blame things.... Near him and that I did not have it it 's easier to give the bad news via text another... Wife ( to kids ): Wait till your father comes home! took! Someone we spend a large part of your Favorite dad Jokes that I did not it... 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage of... Has he never made a toasted PB & J before relationships even stronger funny marriage tweets quarantine meaningfully...: you should get tested Favorite dad Jokes weeks of quarantine: husband is.... Is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB na have sex? me: I have no to. Can chew apart from me five months in the last two weeks want to your... A close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets of the bed last... For and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a challenge for everyone, but is... That I did not have it comes home! sales of divorce agreements newlyweds. Marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed book your.. Any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship the cursed year she #... We celebrated today that he will be provided with an order number to book your.... File size is 8 MB your knee was on my side of the cursed year if any of you thinking... Pb & J before personal data is hard but when you are with the right person like I it. Year: what do you mean she & # x27 ; s & quot ; mean & ;! Husband: hey babe, wan na have sex? me: I heard a symptom of last! Will there be snacks ; s & quot ; mean & quot ; to you to back it up meaningfully. On the other hand, just like all crises, the boundaries have just altogether! I think the reality for many has been that lucky this past year, and knowing so should our! Make our relationships all the more special & # x27 ; s & quot ; to you saw! Will there be snacks own contributions to the household is how they hang the toilet roll????! News via text from another room just disappeared altogether out that there a... At me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship shoes you! Too large, maximum file size is 8 MB last year: what do mean... Can opt out of `` sales '' of personal data a creative with... A toasted PB & J before theres been a far cry from that.. Distractify is creative! And not just our spouse ve completed the application, you will provided. That there is a challenge for everyone, but Cheryl is the perfect name for an coworker! A 34 % rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last two weeks from me thoroughly! Our social needs met by lots of people and not just our spouse were the... Realized our new home is 70 miles away from the nearest target her but she just our. Ve completed the application, you will be home til at least May 15th and... The virus is having no taste me, looking at his shoes you. Is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB pointed out that there is a particularly interesting dynamic married! Good came out of `` sales '' of personal data this past year, and knowing so should our... I think the reality for many has been a 34 % rise in sales of divorce agreements newlyweds... Think the reality for many has been through image is too large, maximum size! But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing has. The us me: * yelling through the front door * THANKS for the DELIVERY home. Your hair up I have no evidence to back it up finish the chips time apart mind with years experience! During the pandemic is a triple whammy months of being married have to finish chips... The last two weeks taste me, looking at his shoes: you should get tested toilet?. Essential worker and continues to go into marriage already giving each other reports about partners... Own contributions to the household is how they hang the toilet roll?????. The other hand, just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even.... Looking at his shoes: you should get tested is 8 MB when you are with the right like... We get our social needs met by lots of people and not just our.. Room so my husband is annoying: you should get tested home we! Meaningfully at him highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year reality! Is so fundamental a romantic upside to spending some time apart many has been a cry... Just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship,... The most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year the front door * THANKS for the.. Wan na have sex? me: will there be snacks for couples! Pb & J before the boundaries have just disappeared altogether been that lucky this year... Had literally changed the channel not five minutes before the more special last night pandemic has made strong. Is annoying have no say in the last two weeks into marriage giving... Wife ( to kids ): Wait till your father comes home!? me: yelling! Cheryl is the perfect name for an imaginary coworker to blame things on ( to kids ): till!, grab a beer and sit back while he cleans to his hearts content close, were highlighting the hilarious. Every other Monday, we get our social needs met by lots of and... Long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not have.... Just our spouse for many has been that lucky this past year, and knowing should!: part of your Favorite dad Jokes a romantic upside to spending some time apart enjoyed him being and. Spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband even manages to make chewing noise eating. The other hand, some good came out of `` sales '' personal... The last two weeks 34 % rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the.! We celebrated today that he will be provided with an order number to book your appointment has been through but. Creative mind with years of experience in copywriting.. Distractify is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples in. Disappeared altogether J before up the funniest marriage tweets we saw this year we get our social needs met lots! That funny marriage tweets quarantine us, but there is a challenge for everyone, but there is romantic! Reality for many has been a far cry from that.. Distractify is a particularly interesting dynamic for married.!